If you’re one of our close friends or family who loves to give gifts to our family (the kids particularly), then we would appreciate it if you can read this post through to the end. Apologies it is quite long, but I will try to keep it as short as I reasonably can!
This message is prompted as we approach Christmas time - the “season of giving” - which everyone in our family is excited about (well, maybe not exactly Harry just yet, but he’s happy to join in with our excitement!).
We firstly want to acknowledge that we have incredibly generous friends and family around us who have been very generous to our family in lots of different ways, and we really appreciate all of that generosity. We have had to buy much less for our kids than other families, which has been a huge blessing.
As we raise our 3 kids there are values which are important to us, and which we want to instil in them as they grow and mature. One of those sets of values is around our “stuff” - our possessions: what we buy, and what we don’t [need to]. What we use and how we use it. What we make and what it’s made of. What can we “make again” (mend)? Most of all, how we value our “stuff”.
A lot of our values in this area are opposed to the consumer-culture that has become the norm in our Western culture. For us, we believe strongly in owning fewer things, and placing a high value on the things we do own - a value that goes beyond the £ price that might have been paid for an item. We similarly have strong values of trying to minimise waste and having to discard things that are no longer wanted or usable (and can’t be repaired).
These are the values that we are working to instil in our kids, and we would really appreciate the people around us supporting that with the type of gifts that are given.
If you are wanting to give gifts to the kids, the following keys can help to support us in this:
- Giving one item of a higher quality/value over multiple lower-valued items
- Avoiding physical gifts that are likely to have a short life (ie something poor quality that would break easily)
- Consider giving an alternative to a physical item - something like a voucher to come and do something or make something with you, doing craft etc - the girls would LOVE that.
- Similar to above - giving an experience voucher of some kind. The kids love Tong Garden centre’s play-gym, or would love to go horse-riding again.
- Pooling together with someone else who might also be giving to the kids, to give one more valuable thing between you.
[On a slight tangent] We also have strong values of healthy eating in our family - particularly limiting the amount of sugar that we eat - so please don’t buy the girls lots of sweets or chocolate (a small amount is fine)
We understand that what we’re asking is not so “normal”, and can be difficult for people to whom giving lots of gifts is part of their culture and what they love to do. Whilst acknowledging that it’s difficult, we would ask people to do their best to understand and appreciate the culture that we’re trying to implement in our family.
For those people that love to give a traditional gift, below are the girls’ current interests & passions that will help you to choose something for them that they will value for a long time:
- Charlotte: drawing, swimming, creating/making/craft, singing, sign language, climbing/exploring, bright clothing, board/card games
- Aimee: painting, baking, reading/stories, puzzles, fashion (flamboyant pieces)
(For Harry, he is a boy who is in want of nothing. We currently have all the things to keep him well maintained and entertained at his current age and beyond. Unless there is something that you particularly, especially want to buy for him, please don’t feel you need to buy him something, eg. to match something you’ve bought for the girls. We are very happy for you to wait until he is older before buying him “things”).
Thank you for reading through to the end, and again we want to say that we are grateful for all the gifts and other forms of generosity that have been shown to us over the past few years. If you have any questions or would like us to clarify anything from this, or would simply like to check if the girls already have something or not, or would like any specific gift ideas, please feel free to message or call us.
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